Daisy Duke..Pockets?

For those of you that know me, you know that I am not a fashion guru, by any means. But one of the things that I do know about fashion is to not attract attention to myself by wearing something that says, "Please please please look at my legs and crotch! Are you paying attention to me yet? Good. Don't worry about my deep green eyes, slightly straight/white smile, or my extremely charming personality. Just look at my thighs and buttocks. That's the first impression I want to make."

What I'm wondering is when did it become okay for your jean short pockets to be longer than the shorts themselves? What kind of message are we allowing these shorts to send? For these answers, please read the above quote because I think I answered them pretty thoroughly already.

I personally believe that not only is this style of shorts trashy, making the wearers of this fashion mistake look like they are too poor to afford enough fabric for a real pair of jean shorts, but it also clearly shows that females are now going to great lengths to get their varying body parts noticed.

Ladies, a man is not going to fall in love with your body if you flaunt it like that. Sure, it'll catch many guys' eyes right away, but if he notices you for your body, what makes you think that he won't notice someone else for the same thing? What if he thinks their body is (Gasp!) better looking than yours?

And this can go both ways; I've certainly known some women who think that the looks of a guy will get them love. Okay, I want you to think really hard: Are you currently with someone that is way too into your looks, and possibly the looks of others? If you are, then go ahead and decide if you're truly happy with this person.

Here's the test I did on my boyfriend when we first began dating in the summer of 2012. We were taking a break from a pretty extensive hike in a state park. The conversation went something like this (we were drinking water and looking at a map of trail names while sitting on a large, uncomfortable rock):

Boyfriend: "Hmm, there's a place named 'Devil's Toilet.'" [I can't remember the real name, but I'm certain it had toilet in it]
Me: "Really? We should go there."
Boyfriend: "Why?"
Me: (as a large group of fellow hikers were walking by) "Because I really need to go the bathroom. Do you think it'd be okay if I took a massive dump there? I'm not sure how much longer I can hold it. I mean, we're talking, possibly explosive particles soon."
Boyfriend: (jaw dropped) "..."
Me: (waiting for people with shockingly similar faces as my boyfriend to walk by) "I'm just kidding."
Boyfriend: "Good. I didn't remember toilet paper. And you might want to get checked out."

See what I mean? KEEPER. He didn't miss a beat with that. And we were only together for a couple of months at that point! So, if you tell a poop joke and it doesn't fly, it might be time to consider a break-up. And oh yeah, burn those "pocket shorts," singing a song of triumph simultaneously.

Hashtag

Okay, so this post is going to be a bit of a rant I'm afraid. There are things that people are doing on the internet that is starting to get on my nerves because they aren't using them correctly. What I'm talking about, of course, is the hashtag.

The purpose of the hashtag is to "provide a means of grouping such messages, since one can search for the hashtag and get the set of messages that contain it." What this statement means is that the hashtag is supposed to be used a means of a link system, in which a person can click on the hashtag to find out more about that subject. It is also used a means of "tagging" people or groups.

For example, on Instagram I might use a hashtag to tag my sister because we always take pictures of each other, or for each other. Instagram will then notify her that she has been tagged, and she will then be given access to any photos that I have hashtagged her in.

These are the two most common ways that the hashtag is used across social networking sites. However, what many people are using them for is incorrect. They will post a status on Facebook, and then they will have a good four hashtags following it.

For example, "Enjoying my time on the beach here in California. #sun #cali #beach #lovingmytan." Why are all of the hashtags following this statement necessary? Any idiot would know that this person is obviously getting sun on the beach in California; thus getting a tan. This is not only overusing the hashtag, but most of the time it does not accurately represent a hashtag because nothing is being linked or grouped.

I know the importance of the hashtag and I think it does have significance in popular social media today, but it should also be used correctly. I feel that when people don't use it correctly, it is simply taking the lazy way out of things. As an English teacher, it truly drives me insane when people don't use correct grammar, spelling, and abbreviations. The one case in which it should be allowed is Twitter, in which users only have a certain amount of space to get their point across.

So, please, for the love of God, stop overusing and misusing the hashtag!

Bossypants

I absolutely love Tina Fey. She has always been my role model since her "Saturday Night Live" days. For those of you that know me on a personal level, you know that Tina Fey and I also share a very unique and hilarious name. In fact, it makes me feel like I am famous when meeting new people, and there's even a part of me that wishes I would have trademarked my name many years sooner; maybe I would be reaping the benefits of a television character by now as well. ;-) Tina is known for her witty sarcasm, and for being openly opinionated, two traits that people tell me that I tend to possess as well.

I recently began reading her memoir, Bossypants, which is hilarious so far, and I highly recommend it to those who have a sense of humor and an open mind.

Here's an excerpt from her memoir:

"Gay people don't actually try to convert people. That's Jehovah's Witnesses you're thinking of. No one was ever turned gay by being at Summer Showtime, because that's not possible. If you could turn gay from being around gay people, wouldn't Kathy Griffin be Rosie O'Donnell by now?"

Like I stated previously, great stuff!