Daisy Duke..Pockets?

For those of you that know me, you know that I am not a fashion guru, by any means. But one of the things that I do know about fashion is to not attract attention to myself by wearing something that says, "Please please please look at my legs and crotch! Are you paying attention to me yet? Good. Don't worry about my deep green eyes, slightly straight/white smile, or my extremely charming personality. Just look at my thighs and buttocks. That's the first impression I want to make."

What I'm wondering is when did it become okay for your jean short pockets to be longer than the shorts themselves? What kind of message are we allowing these shorts to send? For these answers, please read the above quote because I think I answered them pretty thoroughly already.

I personally believe that not only is this style of shorts trashy, making the wearers of this fashion mistake look like they are too poor to afford enough fabric for a real pair of jean shorts, but it also clearly shows that females are now going to great lengths to get their varying body parts noticed.

Ladies, a man is not going to fall in love with your body if you flaunt it like that. Sure, it'll catch many guys' eyes right away, but if he notices you for your body, what makes you think that he won't notice someone else for the same thing? What if he thinks their body is (Gasp!) better looking than yours?

And this can go both ways; I've certainly known some women who think that the looks of a guy will get them love. Okay, I want you to think really hard: Are you currently with someone that is way too into your looks, and possibly the looks of others? If you are, then go ahead and decide if you're truly happy with this person.

Here's the test I did on my boyfriend when we first began dating in the summer of 2012. We were taking a break from a pretty extensive hike in a state park. The conversation went something like this (we were drinking water and looking at a map of trail names while sitting on a large, uncomfortable rock):

Boyfriend: "Hmm, there's a place named 'Devil's Toilet.'" [I can't remember the real name, but I'm certain it had toilet in it]
Me: "Really? We should go there."
Boyfriend: "Why?"
Me: (as a large group of fellow hikers were walking by) "Because I really need to go the bathroom. Do you think it'd be okay if I took a massive dump there? I'm not sure how much longer I can hold it. I mean, we're talking, possibly explosive particles soon."
Boyfriend: (jaw dropped) "..."
Me: (waiting for people with shockingly similar faces as my boyfriend to walk by) "I'm just kidding."
Boyfriend: "Good. I didn't remember toilet paper. And you might want to get checked out."

See what I mean? KEEPER. He didn't miss a beat with that. And we were only together for a couple of months at that point! So, if you tell a poop joke and it doesn't fly, it might be time to consider a break-up. And oh yeah, burn those "pocket shorts," singing a song of triumph simultaneously.